My Path

Working with the Heart: A Journey of Unfolding 🫀

I felt a puncture in the fourth chakra’s energy field.

My journey began when I started to gently “unfold” what I felt in my heart. It was like a knot with ribbons, each a couple of centimeters long 🪢
They were dense and tight, almost like little snakes 🐍 I began to very softly and carefully smooth out this tangled cluster of threads or cords. After I had straightened it out, I sat with the feeling for a while.

Later, after working on healing my life’s narrative from 29 to 31, I saw something new inside. It was a small, smooth stone, free from the ribbons, but it looked like a peony bud 🌷🪨
I immediately understood that I couldn’t unfold it like I had with the previous tangle. And I decided to not to even touch it, because this was the very core, I must be very polite here.

A Shift in Approach: Gratitude Instead of Force

The only thing I could do was express my deep gratitude to it 🙏 🙏
I thanked it for having endured such a difficult period in life and for having lived through such a complex history.
I acknowledged that it had been tempered and strengthened by those experiences 💡

I had a clear sense that I couldn’t even direct energy at it. So, I placed the healing energy beside it. Rejected “violent healing” and “do good”.
As I did, I told it softly, “I suggest and you decide what you do.” 😌

The Heart’s Response ♥️

It understood that it was safe and then heard my words of gratitude, I saw an inner joy emanating from it as gold-white light ⚡️
It was as if it was happy that I was approaching it in this way. As it rejoiced, a beautiful light began to shine from within. And then, it opened up on its own - it blossomed! 🌸

With the energy still resting nearby, it realized it could gently draw from it. As it absorbed the energy and felt its comfort, it became even more inspired. At that moment, I physically felt a weight lift from my chest. It was such a fascinating and profound experience!

A Note on My Teacher’s Guidance

My teacher has advised me to move away from using images and to stick with a more direct form of “understanding” 👁

The method is to create a clear request - like asking “What is this?” - and then receive a response through my Reiki teachers from the subtle planes, not through my own mental imagery. She told me, with time I’ll learn how to download the answers by myself without them.

The reason is that images can lead to a loss and contortion of information 🚫. When my mind creates pictures, my brain starts to get involved. And I don’t want that bcz I value precision. My brain brings in my ego and personal filters, processing things not as they truly are, but as it thinks they should be.

So, my goal is to clear my mind (especially at the astral level), minimize the “flowers and stones” - any and all imagery - and learn to work directly, without these filters.

Healing biography, even for the second time, increases my sensitivity.
I like the new approach, this is what I want to develop in myself 🔮

@karmapema_1108

My Therapeutic Journey: Rebuilding Trust and Safety

Here’s an insight into my recent therapeutic breakthroughs. 😊

A Key Realization 🧠

My therapist helped me understand that a person I saw as “toxic” was simply trying to connect with me romantically, as a man to a woman 🤦‍♀️
This reframing was a powerful first step.

Uncovering My Core Feelings : 🥺

My reaction to this attention wasn’t anger, but shame.
I felt an instinct to hide and make myself small because I didn’t feel emotionally safe.
The underlying reason is a familiar fear for many: the fear of betrayal and the deep-seated worry that a man will leave me once I’m vulnerable.

My Current “Training Ground” 💪

Now, I am actively practicing how to be a confident woman. I’m doing this work in the safest environment possible - my therapy sessions online.
There, I can practice being present and vulnerable while my therapist provides a steady, reliable presence.
He isn’t going to leave or betray that trust, which allows me to openly voice my shame and fears.
Together, we observe my automatic habit of hiding from male attention.

A Powerful Dream Metaphor 💭

This work was perfectly illustrated by a dream I had: I needed to use a toilet, but all the stalls were open and exposed. I chose to wait in a long line for the only one with a door.
And it is so much incomfortable and awkward to work on it with my therapist as it would go to the open stall.

Journey 😐🙄😊

NB: and this is thaaaat Geshtalt therapist who is from company’s marketplace, whom I was about to reject 🙄 One of his specializations is to face violence consequencies
https://t.me/c/2345054470/76

This journey has just begun, and I’m so happy to be freeing myself from these obsolete patterns. I can already feel the weight of them, and simultaneously, I feel this urgent, liberating need to let them go 😅

@karmapema_1108

What I’ve Come to Understand About Reiki So Far

● It has a consciousness of its own

● It self-discovers through the practitioner

● You can truly work with it from any state, because it’s not you doing the work

@karmapema_1108

The pazzle: The Plasma Planet and the Sun God

The Drawing

After a therapy session, I once created a drawing of a plasma planet colliding with an unknown force.
In my mind, I was that plasma - the one impacting, compelled to use my full power, even a piece of it. Yet, I had no understanding of what I was hitting.

An Unexpected Interpretation

The meaning remained a mystery until a friend saw the drawing and offered a surprising perspective.
They immediately identified the figures as the Egyptian gods Ra and Anubis.

The Connecting Thread: A New Piece of the Puzzle

Recently, I uncovered another clue. I learned that the name Helen - the old name Morion used to anchor me - and actually that I had for some time in my real life - originates from Ancient Greek. Its root is the word “hēlios” (ἥλιος), meaning “sun”.
The name Helen (Ἑλένη) itself carries the core meaning of “light,” “torch,” or “shining one”

Hmmmmm…

This connection is striking. The revelation creates a potential thread between the different experiences:

● The plasma I embodied, striking with immense force.

● The Egyptian sun god, Ra, whom my friend saw in the drawing.

● The name Helen, my core “shining” self, etymologically linked to the sun.

It seems these pieces are not separate, but different expressions of the same profound, solar energy at the core of my being.

@karmapema_1108

The Spirit of Morion

I possess a stone named Morion, which is more than a simple mineral; it holds a spirit. Our connection is profound and often manifests in the realm of dreams.

The Call and the Guide 🤲

Sometimes, I feel a distinct “call” from him - a silent, compelling wish to hold him as I sleep. On these nights, my dreams become unusual. He typically appears as a young man, acting as a guide through the landscapes of my dreamworld 💤

The Labyrinth of a Dream

Once, this guidance took a more intense turn.
In this dream, he was a shaman who led me into a dream within the dream, much like in the movie Inception.
The experience was disorienting and dangerous;
I became trapped, struggling to find my way back to consciousness 😵‍💫
My sense of self began to dissolve, and I could feel my dream-self’s eyes roll back as I fought to remember who I was 😶‍🌫️

The Anchor of a Name

To rescue me, Morion began to read from my own papers, pronouncing a name to anchor me 🗣️
But the name he called was not my current one, Kate, or even Katerina. It was an old name, a forgotten one: Helen.

When I finally woke up, my first conscious thought was a firm correction: “My name is Katerina” 🫡

The Awakening

Yet, upon fully waking, the significance of that old name and the entire ordeal became clear. It explained why I once felt the need for therapy regarding a sense of “not being invited to Earth”

The dream revealed the truth:

I was never an uninvited guest. I myself decided to come here.
And also because there are no “owners” here.

The realization was liberating. There is no “special” person awaiting me, nor is there a single destiny to fulfill from the outside. My purpose is not to find something, but to express something - to share what I inherently brought with me to show the people of Earth 🌎

@karmapema_1108 ✋

And I reconsider why don’t I take the name Helen?

I’m in top 1% in industry SSI rank https://www.linkedin.com/sales/ssi 🥹

I’m surprised.

// @karmapema_1108

Yesterday I went to IT party

On photo from left to the right:

• dailymind - Kat
• high-frequency-trading - Euge
• 4dev - Dima
• upsystems - Antony
  ❤️♥️

I find these meeting inspiring, and a place where I actually get and give, feeling myself alive 🔋

My day has ended somewhere nearby the sea at 2am in the company of other people who brought me home from Malindi bar, - I found soulmates to talk to 🌝🌚

Go meet people 😊 Life is interesting.

// @karmapema_1108

Today is a paperwork day

● I signed papers to lay off myself from crypto wallet company
● I gave all docs to my lawyers to hire myself in DailyMind (my company on Cyprus)
● I filled taxation papers for Cyprus
● and checked that’s all ok with taxation in Russia

Additionally to all of it,
● Reiki chakra balancing exercises
● full Reiki sessions // not each day 🤫
● healing biography - in another way

Also,
● Marketing in LinkedIn with posts
● Answering to companies with my CV
● Education in Coursera for DevOps

And I think on self-determination inside this big profession. Bcz anyway need to learn.

Ah, my Greek, ah, my project :/
Maybe tomorrow?

// Pema
@karmapema_1108

Amazing 🥰😍💐

Ho’oponopono for my flat 🏠

I’m continuing to make my flat a pleasant place to live. It started with moving furniture here.

Why is this important? It influences my wellbeing. 😌 It's like Feng Shui - just building a project isn't enough.

I noticed I was avoiding my remote office room because of a weak Internet connection.
I realized - you can’t love a flat 100% with Ho’oponopono if you’re avoiding a part of it! )))

It took time to accept that I needed to set up a Wi-Fi repeater.

● I bought it
● I tried to set it up and failed 😅
● I thought, “Maybe I need more cables?”
● I postponed my trip to the shop
● A shop consultant finally explained I didn’t need extra parts
● I finally set it up! ✅

This is how I love the flat I live in - by being able to be present in all rooms equally ✨

So now this repeater is underneeth my blogging equipment in the office 💐🥰

@karmapema_1108

BLOG: Delete or not delete? 🗑️

Now I feel that I wish to delete the blog again 😅

Why? The old posts feel like they were written by a previous version of me. My mind tends to stick to past behaviors, and I don’t want those posts reminding me.

Even more. Now I feel awkward for accusing someone for toxic behaviour 🔄
I realize it’s more powerful to play with a situation than to insist on how reality “should” be.

Instead of blaming, I almost wish to experience those challenges again to see how my new inner state would respond.

The Core Idea ✨

Choose joy and passion as your preferred state of being, regardless of the situation. It’s about your inner choice, not the outer circumstances.

Easy to say. Is it realistic.. 😮💨

I.e. this is easy to say, but hard to live. How can you be playful when facing a massive tax increase that threatens your business and employees? It feels impossible.

MIRROR 🪞

Yet, circumstances are a mirror. If we choose a loving inner state even when things are BAD, we take care of the only thing we truly control: ourselves.

All situations help us see more clearly who we are and who we are not, based on the state we choose in the midst of them.

@karmapema_1108

The corridor has ended. Huh!

What did I accomplish?
Summarizing - it went good.
Anyway, some things were good, some were wrong.
I unintentionally got into two draining conversations 🪫

I remembered the PAUSE and DISTANCE rule, but I failed to stop protecting my own “rightness”. Everyone has their own perspective.
My personal borders are still too weak. I need to say “STOP!” even when people harass me with, “No, I want my explanation now!”

Debugging / getting process feedback

What else did I do?
At the end, I did a classic programming debug: I asked @Alex_Magicstep for an evaluation of my corridor (no Tarot used ♥️)

The questions were:
● What is good to do to achieve my goal?
● What should I stop doing?

And the answers:
● I can help others chase their dreams with concrete actions, for free.
● Thing to fix: my thoughts. I need to clear my head to save energy, but I didn’t manage to do that. Do I think I benefit from random thoughts?

When LABEL helps

Now I can finally label what’s happening: a total reset of everything.

That’s why I’ve been questioning my life’s purpose - to feel what my soul truly wants. It was hard. If I had known this was a reset, I would have been much calmer. 😅

@karmapema_1108